30 October 2024

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I LOVE HALLOWEEN
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I really wish I had something to say.
I enjoy the technical processes of making art and writing, but as of late, I feel like a fraud.
I've never even considered doing art professionally, so it isn't that I need to be original, or say something, or have some sort of portfolio necessarily. But even though my future isn't hinging on it and I'm not committing any wrong because I am not profiting off of my unoriginality, it still torments me.

There's nothing I wanna do more than be some sort of "author", but what would the point be when I have nothing to say. What is the point of art if it has no soul?

My art could have some value if I enjoyed making it, but it fails to even bring me joy. How could my art possibly be loved by others if even I, the creator, find it utterly soulless. It feels spiritually the same as AI. It is all unimaginative copies of things I have already seen, and creating it brings little to no joy.


The worst part is, it's unfixable. If I disliked my art because I lacked skills, I could learn them. If I disliked my writing because it was poorly worded, I could read more. But there is no way to give myself an imagination.

everything I make is all soulless fagslop.

Maybe I should live in a cave for ten years until I have a creative epiphany or something.
or I could work at a McDonalds. (most creatives end up doing that anyway.)

I just want to have something to say.
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Every single piece of gothic literature is either gay or racist.

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